Knee Deep in South Park
by Gregreturns
Summary: After the new DOOM game is revealed live, an incident with the Oculus Rift brings the monsters into the real world. They invade South Park, but make their biggest mistake by slaughtering Kenny. He gets sent to hell, and becomes the only one who can stop them. Contains graphic violence.
1. Chapter 1

KNEE DEEP IN SOUTH PARK

**Hope you like this one!**

Chapter One

It was a hot, sunny day in the mountains of Colorado and recess at South Park Elementary was well underway. The kids were playing ball, sat on the grass chatting and just minding their own business. Except none other than Eric Cartman. He just couldn't seem to mind his.

He noticed Stan and Wendy lying in the grass relaxing in the sunshine, Stan's arm around her, _Milquetoast_ by Helmet blasting from Stan's iPod. After Cartman's severe humiliation at the hands of her a few months back, he decided he would try to annoy the couple.

"So, you guys been making out recently?" snidely asked Cartman.

"Go away, Cartman", loudly muttered Stan.

"Oh come on, don't be like that! I'm only asking, is all! You stick your Ace in her Hole?"

"Fuck off, Cartman", said Wendy. "We're only 10, you idiot. The answer is no."

"Aw, come ooon!" Eric whined, "Not even a little Inspect-Her-Gadget?"

"Cartman, go play with Butters' dick in your mouth" the girl spoke.

The fat boy, obviously quite annoyed at this insult, gave one of his own.

"Why don't you go play with the fishes in Stark's Pond?"

"CARTMAN, GET LOST." snapped Stan, jumping to his feet. He didn't want to be reminded of that close call. "You're just irrationally frustrated that you're never going to be with anyone in your life".

"Oh, fine, fine, I'll go bother someone else." Cartman finished, walking away. "Was just trying to talk to you, Spoilsports".

Wendy sat up. "Never mind, Stan, he's just an attention seeking asshole".

Stan sat back down and said "Yeah, you're right. I never understood his need to constantly bother people either."

Just then, Kyle walked by. "Hey guys!"

"Hey, Kyle", Stan and Wendy replied.

Kyle noticed the music Stan had on his Ipod, so he removed his green hat and started headbanging, his Jew Fro waving around, making them laugh.

"When are you ever gonna get a haircut, Kyle?" giggled Wendy.

"I would have a good few years ago, but my Mom likes it like this" said Kyle. "She always said it should stay this way".

"Nice Jew-do!" yelled Cartman from the other end of the schoolyard.

"Shut up, fat ass!", shot back Kyle, sticking his hat back on immediately. "Anyway," he turned to Stan and Wendy. "You free after school, Stan? John Carmack's gonna reveal the new Doom game live for all to see, haven't you heard? I'm begging you to come to my place and watch with me!"

"It sounds awesome" responded Stan. "But as much as I'd love to join you, I have a date with the most wonderful girl in Colorado", turning to kiss Wendy.

"Aw, c'mon man!" protested Kyle. "I've literally got nothing else to do, you've got all the time in the world for her"

"Dude, it'll be all over Youtube afterwards" Stan said. "Let me check it out tomorrow".

Kyle thought for a second, then decided it was no use trying to drag Stan away from who he cared about the most for something he could watch as many times as he liked the day after.

"Oh, OK," sighed Kyle in defeat. "You two have fun tonight. Where you going?"

"Casa Bonita" Wendy replied.

"Sweet, see you guys around" finished Kyle, walking away.

"See you, Kyle" called Stan. He liked the sound of what he heard, but of course, he had other priorities. "Dude, I've got to see this game" he thought. "But not tonight".

Meanwhile, Kenny was over by the climbing frame playing the original 1993 Doom game on his Iphone. Several other boys including Tweek, Butters, Craig and Clyde were sat around him. Kenny was stoked for the new game to be announced the coming evening, so he thought he'd do a run through on Nightmare difficulty on the original, out of anticipation.

"Man, Kenny's really getting into it!" exclaimed Clyde.

"C'mon Kenny, kick their asses!" piped Craig.

Kenny dodged left and right in the game, and with a few well-timed blasts in succession with the BFG, he gunned down the Spiderdemon and beat the game.

"Woo hoo!" muffled Kenny. The other boys cheered and congratulated him, "Kenny rules!" could be heard amidst the cheers.

Cartman strode over to the group.

"What the hell is this all about?" he rudely questioned, snatching the Iphone out of Kenny's hand to inspect what he was playing. Cartman wasn't too thrilled, given his poor taste in gaming and entertainment compared to everyone else.

"Gee, this game looks lame as hell", sneered Cartman, "The graphics are all crappy, you guys are gay."

Kenny wasn't too pleased about what he had just heard. "They still look better than your face, fatass!" he spat angrily, snatching his Iphone back.

"AY! DON'T CALL ME FAT, ASSHOLE!" screeched Cartman. He always, oh-so despised being called that.

"Cartman, Doom is one of the greatest first person shooters ever", explained Token, who was also sat there. "But you'd never understand that. This game is what propelled the genre into the mainstream, it's a game of historical value that defined an entire generation. Without this game, there'd be no Call of Duty, and you love that. You're just a fat, close minded piece of shit who judges every game by graphics and doesn't bother to give the classics a try".

Cartman didn't understand Token's logic. "You guys are a bunch of fuckin' fags", he said, beginning to walk off.

"Yeah, well, your Mom's a whore." spoke an irritated Craig, flipping him the bird.

"You don't think I'm a fucking fag, do you Eric?" asked Butters.

"Butters, seriously, I'm not in the mood!" Cartman replied. "I'm sick of telling you all the time. I'm not fat, I'm big-boned, fuck you all!"

The boys just stood and stared at him walking away.

"Wow, what a jerk." commented Clyde.

"Yeah" agreed Craig.

"I know right?" Token said. "All I did was give him some basic facts and as always, he just shuns them like the ignorant asshole he is."

"He truly does have no decent respect for the arts", Kenny muffled under his hood.

"Yeah," muttered Craig. "If I could be there, live tonight, at the big reveal for the new Doom, I would be soooooo happy".


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

Later that night, the Denver Games Expo was well underway, with much-awaited special guests ID Software, who were here because fans had bitched at them so much to come to Colorado, even though they'd already revealed the new Doom game in Dallas a week earlier. "Those lucky Texan sons-a-bitches at Quake-Kaaarn", everyone had thought, so Carmack gave in and decided to present the game a second time.

Many of the South Park kids were sat at home, excitedly watching the whole thing on TV. The Auditorium was crammed full of people chattering away, most likely about the event. When the lights dimmed and John Carmack walked on stage, there was a sea of cheers.

Two guys, Matt and Dillon, were chatting backstage over whether to use the Oculus Rift headset they had with them especially for this event. It was a little different to the usual version, it was an updated prototype.

"Are you really sure we should use this thing out there tonight?" queried Dillon. "It's not quite perfected, anything could go wrong, and we don't exactly want mass rioting this evening, do we?"

"Look", answered Matt. "There are about 2000 people in that auditorium. They all came to see a show. To see you play the new Doom. There are no alternative control methods for this gig, and I think leaving these guys hanging would more likely be the worst that could happen".

"Well, OK," Dillon spoke back. "But don't come running to me if this thing acts up and people get pissed at us." He walked out on stage to the player's seat and donned the headset.

John Carmack drew a breath and said "I hope you do all realise that you didn't need to constantly bombard us with requests for a show here, you could have just asked us nicely. Jesus, we'd have to be high not to present our shows at other venues apart from our own. We've been thinking about that a lot recently. Anyway...what's say we show you all the reason we're all here tonight?"

There was another bout of mass applause.

"Tonight", Carmack finished, "We present to you the game nearly 10 years in the making, being played by means of a truly special method. The newest prototype of the Oculus Rift!"

The curtains rose to reveal a huge screen. Dillon fired up the Oculus Rift and began playing the new Doom whilst everyone watched in amazement.

It all seemed to be going very well for the first few minutes. "Kickass!" exclaimed Butters, sat watching at his house. "Butters, watch your language!" his Dad called from upstairs. Really, his language? Yet he didn't mind his son watching footage of an M rated video game that's gory as hell.

But as things go in these sorts of scenarios, things don't always go to plan. And they certainly didn't a few minutes later.

Green sparks suddenly began to rise from the Oculus Rift. "What the hell's happening?!" cried Dillon. "Damn it Matt, you butthole!"

The sparks then blasted the screen and lit the whole thing up with green and red lightning, which conjoined with each other to open a demonic portal. The audience screamed in terror. So did Dillon, whos head was slowly being fried.

"I'm getting the hell out of here!" yelled John Carmack, making it off stage just in time, as the headset exploded and sent Dillon's brain matter all over the back of the stage. But there was worse to come.

A legion of Cacodemons, Zombies, Imps, Lost Souls and Barons of Hell arose from the portal. Everyone tried running from the auditorium, but many were gruesomely torn to shreds by the monsters.

Back in South Park, everyone watching the event on TV had just as much a reason to be afraid. "Oh, hamburgers!" shrieked Butters, flipping straight to the news channel, which, sure enough, presented the carnage unfolding at the event. The news anchor didn't even get a few words out before his head was ripped off and eaten by a Demon in front of the camera. Even more portals were seen to be opening outside the building the show took place in.

"Jesus Christ!" yelled Clyde, also watching at his house. He quickly made the decision that there was only one thing to do. "I gotta call Cartman, tell him what's happening!" he panicked, running upstairs to his room to change into Mosquito.

Later, at the Coon and Friends hideout in Cartman's basement, every member of Coon and Friends minus Toolshed were present for an emergency meeting. "Ok, you guys" began the Coon, "I'm super serial here, things are getting pretty fucked up right now. Whether we should blame the Jews, Mexicans or Hippies for all hell breaking loose doesn't matter right now. What matters is that we've had experience with this kind of thing before with the whole BP fiasco and Chtulu, and we can easily put those skills to good use to stop this bullcrap once again, and be back home for Terrance and Philip".

"You have no idea of what we're dealing with." said a gruff voice from the shadows. Mysterion entered the room.

"God damn it, Kenny, I thought I told you that you were out of Coon and Friends!" yelled the Coon.

"It's Mysterion!" corrected Mysterion, "and you actually do have absolutely no idea of what you're dealing with here. We could be killed easily, this won't be like with Chtulu. He bowed down to you and let you scratch his ballsack because he was a big pussy compared to these guys."

"AY, DON'T CALL CHTULU A PUSSY!" barked the Coon.

"Shut it, Cartman." snapped Mysterion. "Get it through your head. These are fictional monsters from a VIDEO GAME that have somehow made it into our world. They were programmed NOT to reason, but to tear you limb from limb, and their intentions won't change here. You're an idiot if you think we can face them without any heavy weaponry!"

"Not even Toolshed's power?" asked the Coon. "You're saying that not even his - then again, where the hell is he?"

"Oh crap, I totally forgot!" yelled Human Kite. "He's at Casa Bonita with Wendy! We have to get there before it's too late!"

"Wendy?!" spat the Coon. "Fuck Wendy".

"No, fuck YOU, fatass!" shouted Mysterion. "You're still pussyhurt over the fact that girl is a lot smarter than you, much stronger than you, and isn't a fat walking talking slab of shit. Hell, she's not even a guy, yet she's still got some huge balls compared to your minuscule Chinese pencil dick!"

The Coon's face went into disgruntlement and disgust. "Why don't you just feed her some yoghurt then?"

"Oh, it's on now, Eric!" Mysterion growled, raising his fists.

"Hey, you guys knock it off!" stepped in Tupperwear, preventing a fight from breaking out between the two boys. "We need to be together on this! And besides, Kyle's right. We have to get there to both of them right now!"


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

The Coon and Friends had stole Cartman's Mom's car and were speeding through the town and out of the city limit on their way to Casa Bonita, to of course rescue Stan aka Toolshed, and his girlfriend. Human Kite was at the wheel.

"God damnit, Human Kite! Can't Jews drive any faster than this?" barked the Coon.

"Shut up, fatass! At least I'm not the one whose idea it was to shove Iron Maiden in the trunk!" retaliated Human Kite.

"The whole band? I don't think they'd all fit in there..." butted in Mosquito.

"No, I mean Timmy, for Chrissakes!" blurted Human Kite. "This is the problem with constantly staying in character whenever we use these stupid alter egos!"

"Ay! We're protectors of the world!" exclaimed the Coon.

"Whatever, fat boy" replied Human Kite. "Let's just get to Stan, we can't waste any time!"

"Timmah!" muffled a voice from the rear of the car, coming from the trunk.

The car sped past a fat, ugly 16 year old wearing an Achievement Hunter T shirt, walking down the sidewalk.

Suddenly, The Michael Moore look-alike was confronted by a large zombie wielding a chaingun (known as a Heavy Weapon Dude) who jumped out from the side alley, staring him down.

"Hey, you aphsssholes stole da jet pack from Halo! Phuck yeeeaou!", the fat teenager slurred, pointing at the monster and flipping it off with both fingers. "Yeeeaou phaggits ripped off Calladooty! You ray-tarrrrds should suck my di-"

The Heavy Weapon Dude wasn't having any of it. Its chaingun whirred into life and it literally blasted away the top half of the boy into bloody, meaty chunks, leaving only his bottom half remaining in a gory puddle. That shut him the fuck up.

Meanwhile, Stan and Wendy were enjoying a drink together at Casa Bonita, still oblivious to what was unfolding and what would be unfolding in a few minutes time.

"What a beautiful night" remarked Wendy, gazing at the stars. She quickly turned to Stan. "And I know what you're going to reply with, don't say. Don't give me that cliched crap".

Stan chuckled. "Yeah, but it's true. You're the best girl I ever met. Except for that time when you farted on our way back from school."

Wendy looked slightly annoyed for a second.

Stan quickly finished his statement "But, none the less, you're still the best girl I ever met. And at least it wasn't Cartman's ass, he would have killed us all".

They both laughed out loud at this. Wendy smiled again, and placed her hand on Stan's cheek. "I'm sorry I get a little annoyed with you sometimes, and a little preachy in class."

"Why you sorry for that?" asked Stan. "It's usually for a damn good reason".

"Well, maybe that last part", continued Wendy,"But all I want to say to you is that you'll always be a wonderful boyfriend to me. I mean, you've supported my class campaigns, looked out for me, and you saved my life a few months ago. I don't know what I'd do without you, Stan"

"Likewise, sweetie" replied Stan.

The two leaned in to kiss, but suddenly the earth rocked and they jolted back.

"Dude, what the hell's going on-" Stan didn't have time to finish. A huge explosion rocked Casa Bonita, glass and wood flying everywhere, and he was sent flying backwards, blacking out for a few minutes.

When he came to and opened his eyes, his ears were squealing from the sound of the explosion. Tables and chairs were in pieces, glass was scattered all around, and bodies and pools of blood were sprawled across the floor. Only mildly wounded himself, he crawled forward a little, with finding Wendy the only thing on his mind, when suddenly a Baron of Hell stomped its foot before him, staring down at him.

"Oh my god..." he thought. "Mephisto, what did you do this time..."

The Baron of Hell glared at Stan, its evil eyes and piglike face looking hungry for the Marsh boy's soul.

"Hey, dicklips!" a voice cried. It was a voice Stan knew, only this time it wasn't her usual sweet tone.

The Baron turned its attention to Wendy. She was standing there, only a few scratches on her, wielding a large, stainless steel kitchen mallet, which wasn't exactly about to live up to its name.

The hideous creature charged up an energy ball and fired, but she dodged it, the ball of energy destroying a wall behind her. She ran back up to it while it was recharging and smashed it in the balls with the mallet. The monster's face twisted into a comical expression and keeled over in pain, and she proceeded to bash its brains out.

"Leave, Him, Alone, You, Butt-Ugly, CUNT!" she screamed in between blows. Her purple coat was now drenched with the creature's blood. She had turned its head into a gruesome pulp of flesh and brains.

"Graaaaaaaaaagh, no one fucks with Wendy Testaburger!" she yelled, tossing the bloodied hammer away.

By that time, Stan had jumped to his feet. He ran over to his crazy girlfriend and they hugged. Her face returned to a smile.

"Yep, that's my Wendy alright!" said Stan. "I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Stan", replied Wendy, "We need to find out what's going on here. What are those things?"

"They do look awfully familiar, they kind of remind me of a videogame I've played a few times" Stan mentioned.

Just then, Coon and Friends crashed through the entrance of Casa Bonita in Cartman's Mom's car. Well, you know what they say, better late than never.

The costumed kids stepped out and ran towards the couple. "Stan, thank god!" cried Kyle. "You'll never believe what's happening! Those monsters from Doom! Something happened with the Oculus Rift at the big reveal and they got into our world!"

"Jesus Christ, dude!" Stan exclaimed.

"Are there any survivors here?" asked Mysterion.

"No, I don't think so" responded Wendy.

"Then we need to focus on getting you two out of here to a safe place," continued Mysterion. "More of those monsters could arrive soon."

Just then, more did, several portals opened and another batch of freaks spawned from the gates of hell.

"Quick, get these two out of here!" ordered Mysterion.

"Can we please leave the hippie girl?", questioned the Coon.

"Eric, suck my balls!" spouted Mysterion. "This isn't the time for childish squabbling!" The other kids did as he said and rushed Stan and Wendy back to the car.

Mysterion stepped up to the Hell Knight stood before him. "Hey, you big bully!" Mysterion shouted. "Leave my friends alone, chickenshit!"

The Hell Knight did not tolerate Mysterion's poor choice of words. It grabbed him and began to pull him from both sides.

"Aaaaaaaagh!" Mysterion screamed in pain. "I won't let you get away with this!"

At that moment, the monster tore the boy in half, his innards spilling onto the ground below him. The Hell Knight tossed both halves of him away and let out a spine trembling roar.

The other kids had seen all of this from the car. "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" shrieked Stan.

"You bastards!" added Human Kite aka Kyle, their usual call and response routine for times like this.

"Come on!" panicked Tupperwear. "Let's get out of here!"

Kyle shifted the car into gear and sped off.

"Where should we go?!" Kyle asked, still panicky.

"Hmmm...there's only one man in South Park who should be able to help us solve this" spoke the Coon. "And that is Alphonse Mephisto. We're going to his place!"

"Good idea. You got it!" said Kyle, making a sharp turn and speeding down another road in the correct direction.

Kenny's remains lay on the floor as more monsters tore up Casa Bonita. But he wasn't finished yet.

This wasn't just another Kenny death. In fact, this Kenny death would be the beginning of the end for the hellish demon invasion.

**As we will see next chapter...**


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

The kids sped down the main backroads on their way to Mephisto's lab. Kyle suggested they drop the superhero costumes (against Cartman's will), because he thought some crappy face masks and plastic toy weapons wouldn't make any difference to ferocious demons with massive teeth and huge claws, that managed to rip Mysterion in half minutes earlier.

As they drove along, they noticed the military had finally got involved and been dispatched to Colorado. There were US troops and zombiemen gunning each other down, and imps throwing fireballs left, right and center.

"Man, shit's really going down now" commented Clyde.

"Yeah, this is crazier than that time when Cartman got his ass kicked" agreed Kyle.

"Kyle, seriously, I warned you, never bring that up in my presence again" warned Cartman. Wendy smiled at this statement from the back seat, resting her head on Stan's shoulder. That was a good day.

"Cartman, no one will ever stop bringing that up - you got beaten half to death by a girl" said Kyle.

"You won't believe what she did at Casa Bonita before you guys showed up" said Stan. "It wasn't pretty, but she needed to do it. Thanks to her I'm still here".

"She finally smoked your pole? I knew it!" laughed Cartman.

"Fuck off, Fatso!" Stan backfired. "What is your obsession with me and her screwing? We're not doing it until we're at least 17! Honestly, just go watch one of your Mom's tapes of sucking a German dude off or something."

"AY, TAKE THAT BACK NYAH!" yelled Cartman, grabbing Stan.

"Dammit Cartman, I'm trying to drive!", exasperated Kyle, glancing back quickly.

"KYLE, LOOK OUT!" screamed Token.

An unfortunate Imp stood in the middle of the road was run down by the car. Blood and organs splattered all over the windows. Wendy let out a scream of surprise.

"Eurgh! Dude, Sick!" yelled Stan in disgust. Kyle switched the windscreen wipers on, clearing his view ahead, but the windshield was still stained with blood.

"It still probably looks better than Kyle's mom's pussy" remarked Cartman.

"SHUT UP, FATASS!" shrieked Kyle.

"Alright, ENOUGH!" Token barked. "I thought I said earlier that we needed to work together in this! Which means we can't keep talking about stupid things like dicks and our Mom's pussies! Cartman, you still got The New Kid's number?"

"Uh, New Kid Douchebag? Yeah, why?" asked Cartman.

"Because if he's alive, I'm sure he may be able to meet up with us at Mephisto's and help us!" Wendy butted in. "I'm sure he still lives in South Park, c'mon, give him a call!"

"Ah, OK, OK" said Cartman reluctantly, dialing Douchebag's number.

New Kid Douchebag was not in South Park. He was miles away enjoying a vacation in the Bahamas. He lay on the beach under the burning sun wearing shades. He suddenly heard the vibration of his phone ringing and picked it up to investigate. When he saw "INCOMING CALL - CARTMAN" on his phone's display, he decided to throw the phone into the sea and give it the middle finger.

"Asshole", muttered Douchebag.

Back in the car in South Park, Cartman wasn't too surprised there was no answer.

"Ah, well, I guess he is what he is. A Douchebag" said Cartman, hanging up.

Meanwhile, down in Hell, Kenny woke up and pulled himself to his feet. He noticed he was back wearing his regular orange parka.

"Man, that was rough", he muffled. He began to walk across the burning valley and he noticed something odd. The monsters from Doom were fighting against the minions of South Park's Satan. "I need to find the big red gay guy, find out how these Doom creatures got down here as well", Kenny said to himself.

Kenny then stumbled across the corpse of a guy in a green spacesuit and a Double Barrelled Shotgun lying beside it. "That's one dead space marine", commented Kenny. He decided to take the gun for himself. Cocking it ready for action, he stated "Let's go kick some ass."

He continued down the valley and found himself at the foot of a small mountain, with a cavern he recognised. "Here's his place!" he said.

"Kenny! Kenny! Boy am I glad you showed up, we need your help, get over here!"

That was Satan's voice, but he wasn't in his cave. He was busy fighting off the Doom freaks with his own demons, on a plain outside his place. Kenny ran over.

"I heard about what happened up there", began Satan. "But Colorado just didn't seem enough for these guys, they invaded Hell too! No one invades Hell, I am the only ruler!"

An Arch-Vile blasted fire at them. Satan blasted an Arch Vile with fire of his own. Kenny blew a hole in the face of a Cacodemon that he noticed closing in behind him just in time.

Satan pointed out a large, glowing, blue portal in the distance.

"I think that's where they're coming from." he said. "But I can't go in there alone, The real Hell, my Hell, needs me to defend it, and I've sent enough troops in there without much luck!"

"How can I help?" asked Kenny.

"Tell you what." Satan offered. "If you can get in there and close the portal, you'll be doing me a service too, so I'll send you back to Earth, and your whole town will know it was you who stopped all this. I don't often make this offer, but this is a critical exception. Do you think you can do this?"

Kenny thought for a minute. Then he decided that being back in South Park would be way better than being stuck with this big red gaywad who had the hots for him. That, and he knew exactly what he wanted in return from the Mayor for saving the town.

"OK!" piped Kenny, charging towards the mysterious portal.

"You might find more weapons in there too! I saw some strange men dressed in green carrying some!" called Satan.

**Hang on tight, it's going to be a hell of a ride...(sorry for the pun)**


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5 _

Kenny stepped through to the other side. The first thing he noticed was that this strange version of hell wasn't too different environmentally, but architecturally there were subtle changes that caught his eye. Ahead of him lay a huge, strange fortress made of stone, with the insignia of the face of a demon he didn't recognise engraved into the front door. Lava poured from a huge Cyberdemon statue looming above him, into a boiling red lagoon. More dead marines lay around him.

He made his way over and opened the menacing front door and was greeted almost immediately by a hungry demon. A quick blast from the Double Barrelled Shotgun he found earlier quickly ended this encounter.

He headed inside, strafing left and right through the winding dark corridors, picking up strange blue orbs that somewhat kept his energy up. He flicked a switch, opening a secret door which led him into a room with a few imps, which he took out quickly in succession. In the center of the room was a chaingun, which he picked up. He quickly realised that in this strange realm, he could carry as much stuff as he found, switching between weapons as if he was pulling out scraps of paper from his pockets. "Sweet!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly, he heard some peculiar, messed up sounding music. It sounded like the theme tune of a TV show, but more warped and evil sounding. The chorus line was striking, _"Jim has fixed it for yooooou, and youuuu and youuuuuuuu..."_

Kenny knew this didn't sound good. The music grew louder and before his very eyes, approached the disembodied, zombified spirit of disgraced children's entertainer Jimmy Savile. He drifted slowly closer, a perverted look on his face. "Now then, now then!" echoed his voice.

Kenny certainly didn't want this creepy guy "fixing" anything of his, so took no chances. "You're not sticking your fingers anywhere near my ass!" he muffled loudly, blasting Jimmy Savile's face off with the chaingun. Savile slumped to the floor in a pool of blood and chunks of his own head.

"Must have followed me through the portal", said Kenny. "Oh well, I'm sure even Satan didn't want him anyway."

Meanwhile, back on Earth, the kids had reached Mephisto's lab and were inside. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Token, Clyde, Timmy and Wendy were all present, trying to get answers from the mad doctor. It was usually him who could solve any strange occurence in South Park, but this time even he couldn't pinpoint the source of the invasion.

"This is indeed a fascinating phenomenon" said Mephisto. "But it wasn't my doing at all, I was just watching Oprah at the time this happened. From what you've described to me, I'm not quite sure how to explain it. You're saying the monsters just opened portals and came out of the game?"

The kids said "Yeah" in agreement.

"The Oculus Rift at the show just went haywire, then things got real bad" Stan said.

"They killed our friend Kenny too", mentioned Kyle.

Mephisto turned away from the kids, reflecting on the situation.

"Damn prototypes," he spoke, "I knew Dillon, too. A friend of mine, met him at a Science Expo. He visited me a week before all of this, mentioned ID Software were going to use a prototype for the show, why didn't they listen? I knew something wouldn't go quite right, but wasn't expecting something such as this."

"Well guys," said Cartman, "We all know Kenny wasn't exactly a perfect 4th grader. If he's anywhere, he's probably down there".

"Down there..." spoke Mephisto. "I was listening in to some US Military broadcasts earlier, and it sounds as if they may have entered one of those portals. They described a huge fortress in front of them, but one guy panicked and mentioned that the portal sealed shut behind them, then I lost contact. Haven't heard of anyone ever coming back out."

The kids didn't know what to think, but it didn't take long for Kyle to speak up.

"Hey, maybe Kenny's down there! He can help stop this!" he smiled.

"We can only hope." Mephisto replied. "If the portals are perhaps annexing with our own hell as well as the hell from the videogame, if that is indeed true, then maybe your friend may have a chance to stop these monsters".

With that, the kids cheered. "Hold on," decided Token. "I think we're just gonna have to wait and see. I'm sure this will all blow over eventually like everything else that happens in this town, but if Kenny IS down there, then maybe he can speed the process up".

Mephisto then noticed Cartman still had his Coon mask over his forehead. "You kids been running around in those costumes again?" the doctor asked.

"Uh yeah" said Kyle. "Don't ask, it's just a thing we've been doing for a little while in times of trouble. We don't actually have superpowers. Except Bradley."

"The hell is Mintberry Crunch when you need him?" wondered Clyde.

"Beats me" said Kyle. "Doubt he'd stand a chance in this case though"

At that very moment in South Park Elementary, the entire school had been boarded up. The kids and teachers were defending themselves from the hellish demons. Jimmy Valmer was on the roof with a sniper rifle.

Mr Mackey was in the school corridors, gunning down some imps and zombiemen with an assault rifle he found from a dead US trooper. "I'm gonna teabag all you motherfuckers, M'kay?!" he yelled, blasting them away. "You're not eating anyone while I'M school counselor, M'kay?!"

In one of the classrooms, Mr Garrison was cowering underneath a desk while Bebe, Craig, Butters and a few other kids held off the room with shotguns.

"I can't let them violate you, Mr Hat! It just won't happen!" whimpered Mr Garrison.

"What makes you think they'd violate me?" replied his hand puppet Mr Hat, although he was actually conversing with himself.

"Well, they do have awfully big horns, and large teeth, and other strange body parts..." Mr Garrison said.

"You are into some sick shit" spoke Mr Hat.

"You fellers better back off!" shouted Butters at some monsters, blowing off their heads. "You big old meanies!"

"Wow!" smiled an impressed Bebe. "Where'd you learn to shoot like that, Butters?"

Butters, not quite sure how to talk to a girl without making a fool of himself, responded with "Well, I do admit I play an awful lot of video games..."

"Cool, so do I! Want to come round my house and play some when this all blows over?" she asked.

"Why, yeah, sure, I'd love to..." Butters said. He felt a strange sensation in his underwear.

"Oh, no, no! Not now, Happy Compass! Not this again!" he thought. The sensation pulsed through him without warning and he shivered with ecstasy.

"Mr Garrison!" he called. "My creamy goo came out again! Can I use the bathroom?"

"For fucks' sake, Leopold, No!" snarled Mr Garrison. "This is most certainly not the time!"


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

Kenny slowly trudged through the inky darkness of a tomb that lay deep beneath the castle. He'd made it down this far, he could make it further. He had collected several more weapons at this point.

Some lost souls came flying at him from out of nowhere. He disintegrated them promptly with his plasma gun. He turned a corner and found a yellow, glowing key of some sort. Kenny decided to pick it up, knowing the games himself, he knew that wherever it would lead him, it would lead him closer to getting out of this mess.

Several hidden doors flung open without warning. Some spectres came charging out, they were invisible, but he could pick them out easily by their glowing eyes. He just activated his chainsaw and let them practically run into it, their visibility being restored upon death, a slump of demon guts all over the floor.

"Phew, that was close" thought Kenny.

But it wasn't over yet. The earth shook with the tremendous footsteps he heard slowly approaching. The entire room he was in lit up to reveal a huge, round arena made of stone, the walls that made the maze he was previously in lowering into the ground.

Before him, stood the Cyberdemon, which let out a colossal roar.

"Ho-ly-shit, dude" muttered Kenny.

The monster launched as many rockets at him as it could, Kenny dodging the rockets and backfiring with his plasma gun. Whilst the Cyberdemon took damage, it didn't show signs of slowing down, not even a little.

Eventually, the rockets caught up with Kenny and one knocked him straight off his feet, sending him flying against a wall. Kenny lay on the floor, still clutching his gun, expecting this big ugly beast to crush him to a pulp.

But there was still a chance for him, as a huge green ball of energy came flying past his field of vision and knocked some wind out of the Cyberdemon. A hand reached down to help Kenny to his feet. Kenny gazed up to see one of those guys in green again, but there was something about this one. He read the name tag on this strange man's uniform, it said "CPL. FLYNN TAGGART".

Kenny couldn't believe he had just had his ass saved by the very guy he was playing as in a videogame hours earlier. Doomguy helped Kenny to his feet, who dusted his orange parka off.

"Well, bout time someone like you showed up, I was getting pummelled!" exclaimed Kenny. Doomguy handed over a strange black medical box with a red cross on the front. "The hell's this?", Kenny wondered.

Kenny absorbed the power of the strange item and he suddenly felt a lot stronger and more pissed off (albeit in a good way) than he was before. "Now THIS is what I'm talking about! Thanks man!" said Kenny.

Just then, it was apparent the Cyberdemon wasn't totally finished off. Another roar from the creature triggered Kenny and Doomguy to turn their heads towards it in surprise. Another batch of hellspawn appeared out of nowhere as reinforcements. Kenny and Doomguy looked at each other and nodded in agreement that it was time to kick some serious ass.

The two charged at the creatures, Doomguy firing some plasma beams and disintegrating a group of demons. Kenny discovered that he had the ability from the strange power-up he was given to rip and tear these monsters in half like bread. It felt immensely satisfying that for once he was the one doing the killing, which isn't usually the case for Kenny, as we all know.

Doomguy whipped out his BFG again and fired another shot at the Cyberdemon, knocking it to the floor. Kenny stormed over and, with a little tugging and pulling, managed to tear its head clean off. He held it in the air victoriously.

"Alright, dude, we killed it!" Kenny cheered.

But it wasn't over yet. When the dust settled, another portal opened before their very eyes. A hail of chaingun fire, with much bigger slugs than a regular chaingun, came blasting out and turned Doomguy into a leaky piece of meat, ending his life, with, of course, the iconic death scream.

"Oh, no, dude!" Kenny cried. "God damn it!"

Kenny realised what was ahead of him. He had played it, and now he was about to live it. He knew he had to advance into this new portal, what lay ahead would be the key to stopping the invasion and saving South Park. He picked up the BFG that lay beside Doomguy's corpse, gathered his bearings and proceeded to the mysterious doorway, stepping through.

When he reached the other side, Kenny found himself on a large floating platform, surrounded by a hellish aura above mountains of smoldering lava. In front of him stood the biggest, baddest beast of them all. It had legs of steel, and a brain that was definitely bigger and more intelligent than Officer Barbrady's (then again, it's not difficult to be more intelligent than him). Its face glared at Kenny with an evil grin, below its face sat the mounted chaingun that killed Taggart.

It was the Spiderdemon!

Kenny stared it down, then decided to take no chances and leapt into action.


End file.
